Because the American people deserve to know
With less than a month left until the Iowa caucuses officially kick off primary season, it seems like we've spent the last decade slowly whittling away at an endless list of candidates.
Many voters have already seen their favorite contenders drop out of the race. Others have yet to figure out which person on a crowded debate stage best represents their interests. Obviously there are a number of axes on which you can compare the candidates, and countless articles that can help you navigate their differing economic policies, their stances on health care, or their various approaches to foreign policy. If those are the factors by which you judge a candidate, you should have no problem finding what you need to make up your mind. People like me are not so lucky.
I have always been a single issue voter—consistently casting my ballot for the best dancer. In 2008 and 2012, I had an easy time of it. Barack Obama's blend of smooth and corny dance moves struck a perfect balance for my sensibilities, easily winning out over Mitt Romney's "Gangnam Style" convulsions, or John McCain's high-intensity robot. 2016 presented a more difficult choice. I nearly didn't vote at all, but ultimately decided that Hillary Clinton's stiff Whip and Nae Nae represented the lesser of two evils when considered against Donald Trump's apocalyptic rendition of "Hotline Bling."
Sadly, some 60 million voters didn't see what I did, and made the wrong call. I won't let that happen again. The American people deserve to see every candidate dance before they go to the polls. Until the DNC finally listens to wisdom and converts one of their debates to a dance off, I've compiled this list so that you can make an informed decision.
New Jersey Senator Cory Booker hasn't done much dancing lately, but we can look back at his record as Mayor of Newark to see where he stands on the issue of Salsa dancing. As in politics, Booker is competent, but not dazzling.
Does Mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg, dance at all? His campaign has a now-infamous official dance to the song "High Hopes," but I've been unable to uncover any evidence of Pete participating. His youth and energy are vaguely suggestive of someone with dance moves, but as long as his actual record remains cloaked in shadows, many voters will be hesitant to support him. Until that time, the above simulation is the best we can do. What are you hiding, Mayor Pete?!
Is Michael Bloomberg actually running for president, or is he just trying to spoil everyone's fun? His dancing with Lady Gaga at 2011's New Year's Rockin' Eve suggests the latter.
Former Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick is not well known to most voters, but images of him sweetly dancing with his wife are a touching endorsement.
The only dance that Maryland's former congressional representative John Delaney knows is the iron dance of getting swole.
Michael Bennett is a defensive lineman in the NFL. As far as I can tell, the rumors that he's running for president are completely baseless, but based on his moves... maybe he should.
- Your guide to the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates — Quartz ›
- Elizabeth Warren Goes Full Elaine at Rally with an Awkward Dance ... ›
- Elizabeth Warren Dancing GIF - ElizabethWarren Dancing Flag ... ›
- Elizabeth Warren Dances into Election Day on 'Ellen' ›
- Elizabeth Warren's Dancing Puts Elaine From 'Seinfeld' To Shame ... ›
- Elizabeth Warren Dancing is a Mood - YouTube ›
- WATCH: Elizabeth Warren Goes Full Elaine at Rally With Dance ›
Breaking down the bias of comfort films.
With the constant onslaught of complicated news that 2020 has brought, sometimes you just want to be able to shut off your brain, relax, and feel happy.
Enter comfort films. These are the feel-good movies that feel like a warm hug when you finish them, the ones that allow you to escape for a short while. We often turn to these types of films in times of trouble or extreme stress, and when we're not sure what films of this nature we should watch, we turn to the Internet for options.
25 years ago, pop stars and rappers were were expected to stay in their respective lanes. But Mariah Carey proved that hip-hop and pop were a match made in heaven—changing popular music as we know it.
Hip-Hop is pop—not in sound, but rather in terms of influence and authority.
Certainly pure pop—pasteurized and whipped into its ultimate peak in the early 2010s—is still breathing, though despite its name, the genre's reign as the chieftain of popular music has ended.
Drake and Bad Bunny are as much of pop stars in 2020 as Carly Rae Jepsen and Kesha were in 2012. Spotify reports that, at this very moment, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP" is the most-streamed song in the United States. Immediately following that is trap-pop cut "Mood," a TikTok-famous summer bop by 24kGoldn and Iann Dior, two of many rising zoomer rappers who have embraced Hip-Hop's guidance in most melodic forms, like trap-pop, emo rap, alternative hip-hop, and pop-rap. And if that's not enough to give Hip-Hop a throne, Nielsen Music has confirmed that eight of the top 10 artists of 2020 so far are, of course, rappers.