There's something about reading a mean tweet about yourself that can never stop being funny.

But what is the line between mean and cruel? We think we found the answer when we discovered this. Call it: "Cruel-Ass Tweets." With the simple description, "If Jimmy Kimmel can do it - why can't I?" we get everything we need to know about one cruel-ass "Sock Monkee." He may look cute, but, this sock's clearly got anger management issues and is taking no prisoners. And he's pretty damn funny.

In this video by Zero Entertainment, the game is simple. A bunch of everyday people read mean tweets about themselves. And the opening is enough to make you choke up. NSFW, people! (And for those of you that don't know acronyms, "Not Safe For Work.")

Watch it here.

"Reba Areba, the only way to know how old she is would be to cut open her vagina and count the rings."

Ouch. First of all, that sounds extremely painful. Second of all, I'm not sure these are even ladies. And finally, they don't even look that old, do they? But man, this Monkee sure thinks they do.

Then there's the lovely Sasha Jackson, who looks like she doesn't deserve to read mean tweets about her. "The drapes haven't matched the carpet since she was at Hogwarts." Okay, we're pretty sure she was never in Harry Potter, and if she was, I'd remember. But then again when you think about it, all those people in Harry Potter do kind of sound the same.

Jake Glazier. Monkee is really mad at that guy, and we don't really know why. Maybe sock monkeys don't like gingers? All we know is this guy's got a killer voice. A google search says he works at Oberlin College, but we're pretty sure that this is some other Jake Glazier.

Vince Foster? I just saw this guy on 24: Legacy. Clearly, he and Sock Monkee have a beef.

We're onto this weird little monkey. He's on our radar. Stay tuned.

Russell Brand is a self professed egotistical narcissist, traits that he downright hates in others….well, he’s nothing if not a contradiction, right?

Perhaps, he despises those other non-Brand egotistical narcissists, because, unlike his good self, THEY are “vapid, vacuous, plastic, constructed, mindless” celebrities, like, or instance, his ex-wife, Katy Perry.

Russell Brand’s Revolution Hilariously Derailed By Blur’s Parklife

Whereas, we all know by now, Brand is anything but vapid, vacuous, plastic, constructed, mindless, or a celebrity… oh, wait…. the last part we better omit….but, all good on the rest Russell!

To allow the outside world a glimpse into his non-celebrity life, the deep, meaningful, solid, genuine, thoughtful 40-year-old is doing what any other non-celeb would do—starring in a new documentary about himself, titled, Brand: A Second Coming—part of which was filmed during his short lived marriage to Perry.

Katy Perry Talks Russell Brand, John Mayer, Sex Life And Therapy

In the trailer, Brand wangs on about his wedded woes, and admits he’s going to have to step away from his shallow celeb wife in order to spiritually enrich himself.

"I'm living this life, the very thing that I detest: vapid, vacuous, plastic, constructed, mindless celebrity," Brand whines. "That's the very sea we're swimming in ... 'Oh, who's he? He's married to Katy Perry.'"

Russell Brand Finally Makes That Katy Perry Joke

"It's definitely good I'm with someone I love," he says at a later point. "But it's not a resolution to anything spiritual. This is my suspicion, that at some point, to be happy, I'm going to have to walk away.

And, walk away he did.

As Popdust previously reported, Brand ended their 14-month-long marriage, by dumping his wife via a text message, back in 2011.

Now, THAT’S deep.

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Popdust’s own intrepid reporter Suzy McCoppin sits down with Emmy Award winner, comedian, and radio show host Greg Fitzsimmons to discuss her hot dating franchise, Adventures in Dating.

Thinks take a dark and disturbing turn when Suzy delves into her experience with a foot fetishist, doing reverse cowgirl on Entourage, and dating Russell Brand twice, even though he has absolutely no idea who she is.

The topic then switches to all things mammary and Suzy and Greg play a spirited round of “Real or Fake,” ultimately determining that Suzy’s boobs are in fact real.

But actually Suzy knew that already. Because I’m Suzy and I’m writing this post.

Next Dave Navarro gets a shit ton of shout outs.

“He’s so witty.”

“Great body.”

“He loves to be naked.”

Email a photo and short bio to fitzdogradio@gmail.com if you want to go on a date with Suzy for her column. Greg will buy us dinner at the I-Hop.

Bring pepper spray.

http://www.gregfitzsimmons.com/2015/06/12/suzy-mccoppin/

Break ups are painful, it’s a sad time for all involved but generally you at least have an inkling that all may not be well in relationship paradise

Not so for Mrs Morgan Deane Smith, wife of England cricket star Graeme Smith.

He had allegedly told his wife he wanted to work on their marriage, so imagine her shock when she received a text message he had accidentally sent to her instead of his lawyer saying he wanted a divorce!

Oops!

She’s not the only one to have been blindsided by a break up – here are some celebrities who just didn’t see it coming.

1. Real Housewives Of Atlanta star Porsha Williams claimed she only found out via twitter that ex hubby Kordell Stewart was divorcing her in 2013. Still she recovered from her shock and devastation by moving on with a mystery married sugar daddy who didn’t take kindly to her bragging all over Instagram about the fabulous life he was providing for her – he dumped and cut her off without warning.

Popdust’s word of advice Porsha – stay away from social media.

2. In 1998 Minnie Driver was happily dating Matt Damon – or so she thought. Settling down to watch her beau on Oprah she was more than a little taken aback to hear his response when Oprah asked him about his girlfriend. He denied he was in a relationship which came as a bit of a shock to Minnie who said;

“It seemed like a good forum for him to announce to the world that we were no longer together, which I found fantastically inappropriate”.

Popdust’s advice to Minnie – boycott Oprah and any Bourne Identity movies to be on the safe side.

3. Poor Richie Sambora, whilst (he thought) happily married to Heather Locklear in 2006 he was on stage and nipped off during the gig to do a prearranged radio interview. The interviewer asked him about a breaking story that Heather had just filed divorce papers in court in LA. He called the report completely untrue and wasn’t upset or fazed, treating it as the usual celebrity BS rumor. He went on to talk about his upcoming Valentine’s Day plans to be at home with his wife and kid. Sadly for Richie he was single come V-Day as completely unbeknownst to him, the rumor was true.

Popdust’s advice to Richie – always insist on having your wife in the audience at the gig so she can’t be sneaking down the courthouse and always have very firm holiday plans.

4. Laura Dern was living with fiancé Billy Bob Thornton when she left their home to work on a movie. She said;

“While I was away my boyfriend got married (to serial husband stealer Angelina Jolie) and I’ve never heard from him again.”

Popdust’s advice for Laura – maybe don’t get engaged to be someone’s fifth wife and advice to ALL women – never let your husband work with Angelina.

5. The marriage of Katy Perry and Russell Brand was never going to get very good odds for longevity, but even Katy was somewhat surprised to receive a text message from Brand saying he was divorcing her on New Years Eve 2011.  That was it. No explanation, no softening the blow.

Popdust’s advice to Katy –stay away from the serial narcissistic womanizers. (However, considering she’s now dating John Mayer for the second time, clearly she hasn’t learned.)

6. Everyone thought Tom Cruise would be the one to do the dumping of Katie Holmes when she’d passed her use by date (just as he did with Nicole Kidman). Imagine his surprise to find himself served with divorce papers in 2012 when Katie was away appearing in a play in New York. Five days before his 50th birthday – ouch!

Popdust’s advice to Tom – karma’s a bitch.

 

Last word of advice from Popdust to Graeme Smith – always store your lawyer’s number way away from your wife’s on your phone.

 

 

Everyone's very favorite boyband hotties, One Direction, have revealed their man crushes/male idols in an interview with London's Lesbian & Gay Switchboard.

Louis Tomlinson admitted to having a thing for loud mouth comedian-turned-revolutionist,Russell Brand,after seeing him on a talk show.

"I saw Russell Brand on Jonathan Ross and he just speaks so incredibly. I look up to him, he's cool," the singer/songwriter gushed.

David Beckham is just a cool, cool guy," he added.

Yep, Becks is certainly a "cool, cool guy" in our books too Louis!

As Popdust previously reported, hunky 1D heartthrob, Zayn Malik, is engaged to Little Mix singer, Perrie Edwards—but that doesn't mean he can't still appreciate Jake Gyllenhaal's obvious talents..... and by talents, we mean, acting talents.... natch...

“I wouldn't necessarily say I have a crush on him, but I really appreciate Jake Gyllenhaal's acting. I've seen him in a film called Prisoners. He's so sick," Malik admitted.

Yessssss...... Oh Jake... your "acting" is just sooooo ....... skilled ..... sooo ....... talented ..... sooo .... hot ....

Anyway, enough about Gyllenhaal's thespian skills—onwards and upwards!

So, who does Niall Horan have a same sex crush on? Well, the 21-year-old implied that he would totally love to french a pirate.

Johnny Depp is pretty sick and he's a really nice fella too," Horan said.

Sadly, Liam Payne and Harry Styles didn't participate in the interview, but both have previously dished on the subject.

Playing up to the avalanche of speculative rumors that he's been embroiled in a gay relationship with Louis Tomlinson since way back in their X Factor days—which has resulted in pages and pages of fan fiction about dream couple, Larry Stylinson—Styles once admitted to Louis being his "man crush".... However, keeping everyone guessing, he later offered up Zayn Malik as his fantasy hunk pick...

And, Payne, who is currently dating model Sophia Smith, admitted to man crushing on stand-up comedian Michael McIntyre—yeah, we have no idea who that is either....

Meanwhile, they may well be adorable, ridiculous, and love the word “sick," but the 1D boys do have a good message for the kids—just be yourself.....and accept yourself for who you are.

“Just be yourself," Zayn told the Switchboard. “If that's who you are, that's who you are and don't be afraid to be the person that you are."

Amen to that our British brothers.....Amen to that.....

Russell Brand has the perfect comeback for all that Parklife mockery - making his own version!

As Popdust previously reported, a Twitter user noticed how everything Russell said on political issues sounded as if there should be "PARKLIFE!" at the end, as per Blur's 1994 hit.

The movement went viral, with people tweeting "PARKLIFE" at the wannabe-revolutionary every time he commented on anything. There was also Vines of Russell waxing lyrical about some worthy thing or other, with the catchphrase added on at the end, and full-length videos too.

Instead of merely having a hissy fit, the comedian completely co-opted the entire joke by making his own parody of the song, complete with jabs at politicians and big business.

Well played, Russell. Well played!