Culture Feature

The Worst Animal Crossing Villagers, Ranked

If you really want to get an Animal Crossing player passionate, ask them which villager they hate the most.

Ask any Animal Crossing: New Horizons player which villager is their favorite and they'll probably tell you about a cute, cuddly animal who says sweet things and sends nice gifts (or possibly Roald, the chubby penguin who loves working out).

Animal Crossing Roald Roald is the best villager, no question.Nintendo

But if you really want to get an Animal Crossing player passionate, ask them which villager they hate the most. As it turns out, in a game filled to the brim with relaxation and joy, there's still a surprising amount of room for hatred, and all of it is directed at the absolute bottom-tier villagers who move into your perfect town with their ugly appearances and garbage personalities to turn your animal utopia into a rancid dump.

4. Truffles

Animal Crossing Truffles Nintendo

Look, let's be blunt here. When it comes to Animal Crossing, it's okay to be shallow. The best kinds of villagers are the adorably cute ones and the bizarrely creepy ones.

On the other hand, the ugly villagers are kind of awful and it's fine to not want them gunking up the beauty of your town. I'm not sure what that says about us as a species, but it is what it is. And sure, sometimes villagers who appear unattractive at first glance end up growing on you in the long-run...but not Truffles. Truffles just struts around with her giant eyebrows and terrible haircut and deludes herself that she's going to be a famous pop star. Then she drags you into it, so you need to spend half your day lying through your teeth that she's not awful, even though she so clearly is.

Maybe it's unfair to dislike Truffles so much. Unlike some of the other, genuinely vile villagers on this list, Truffles isn't mean or negative. No, the problem with Truffles is that she comes to town uninvited, and she just. Will. Not. Leave. And as long as Truffles is in your town, there's a much cuter, much more likable villager out there who isn't.

3. Chow

Animal Crossing Chow Nintendo

If someone told you that a panda villager was moving into your town, you'd probably get excited. Pandas are adorable, so naturally an Animal Crossing panda should be adorable to the power of two. Expectation, meet cold hard reality. Chow is, in a word, hideous. He's got a giant red face with leering eyes and a creepy serial killer grin. His chubby butt hangs out of his dumb star shirt in a manner that makes it look like he's constantly pooping.

All of this could be visually unfortunate, but not necessarily deal-breaking. Sometimes villagers who appear unattractive at first glance end up growing on you in the long-run. Too bad Chow's personality is awful, too. He's a cranky assh*le who gets mad at you over stupid things, and his past times include spreading mean rumors about other villagers and saying negative sh*t like, "All good things must come to an end." Chow is correct in that your wonderful, idyllic Animal Crossing experience sours as soon as he enters.

2. Diva

Animal Crossing Diva Nintendo

Here's where things get personal. Before Animal Crossing: New Horizons implemented the fabulous mechanic whereby you get to choose the location of your new villagers' house, Animal Crossing: New Leaf just let villagers move in all willy-nilly. So imagine spending literal months crafting the perfect home with custom pathways and a well-tended garden of hybrid flowers. Then, to your horror, you step outside one morning to see a new house literally as close to your front door as humanly possible, sitting on top of what was once your garden.

Sadness and anger swirl around your gut, but you try to placate yourself with the hope that maybe, just maybe, this new villager will be so wonderful that their friendship will make up for the destruction their home placement caused. And then you meet Diva—an arrogant purple frog with lipstick who has the audacity to bully your favorite villagers and then brag about it to you.

You spent months selectively breeding a garden full of pink cosmos, and it was ruined in a flash for this? So when you started New Horizons you made yourself a promise: If Diva moves into your town, you reset the game.

1. Eloise

Animal Crossing Eloise Nintendo

Eloise may look sweet and innocent with her bright yellow color scheme and big, dumb smile, but make no mistake: Eloise is a nightmare incarnate, and there's nothing even close to a soul beneath her hollow black eyes. From the moment you meet Eloise, she is just horrendous. First she introduces herself as if she's doing you a favor by gracing you with her presence, punctuating every exclamation with her catchphrase: "tooooot." This has the effect of making it seem like Eloise is farting all the time, which of course she is.

Seriously, every conversation with Eloise is a disaster, and nothing is ever enough for her. She'll waltz up every other hour asking for some dumb favor like bringing her apples or some bullsh*t, and then as soon as you do it, she'll start whining about people's hygiene. Like, Eloise, you fart constantly and the tip of your trunk is GREEN. That's definitely mucus, Eloise, so you have no right to comment on anybody else's cleanliness.

The worst part about Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp is that Eloise enters the game early, meaning that the longer you play, the longer you're stuck dealing with her crap.

Well, joke's on you, Eloise. I deleted the app, and your entire existence along with it. And I swear, if you show up on my island in New Horizons, I won't just reset the game. I'll break my entire Switch. Don't test me, Eloise.
Show Comments ()
Trending Articles
© 2020 Popdust Inc. All Rights Reserved.