Sony Pictures

As 2020 continues to collapse into itself like a dying star, the 24-hour news cycle has transformed into a Mad Libs-esque exercise in absurdity.

Want proof? Fill these in.

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Netflix

8:46—Dave Chappelle's newest special, surprise dropped on Youtube in the wee hours of the morning—isn't comedy.

The official caption below the video reads: "From Dave: Normally I wouldn't show you something so unrefined, I hope you understand," followed by a link to the Equal Justice Initiative.

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Johnniqua Charles

America has a police issue.

The police are massively overfunded compared to education, social work, and other projects of public benefit to the American populace. This results in militarized units of racist, violent, poorly trained cops who operate from positions of fear and have an uncanny knack for disproportionately killing black people.

All of which is to say, it's time to defund the police, and when we finally do, a lot of cops will probably be out of work. Normally joblessness isn't a cause for celebration, but when the jobs in question entail continually committing war crimes against peaceful protestors (and yes, tear gas really is banned by under the Geneva Convention and so constitutes a war crime), they can go f*ck themselves.

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