Clorox Conspiracy

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NASA faked the moon landing. The Earth is flat and hollow. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

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It's almost Thanksgiving, so here at Popdust we're trying our best to stop dwelling on the fact that our entire world is going to sh*t, and instead, be appreciative of all the pop culture stuff we're thankful for in 2019.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. The Lumineers New Album

The Lumineers

Instant Classic.

2. The constant whining of the Pokemon fanbase on Reddit and Twitter

Pokemon Sword and ShieldThe Pokemon Company

A week after the launch of Sword and Shield, the angry man-babies are still crying hard.

3. Baby Yoda

baby yodadisney

Even cuter than a whole flock of Porgs.

4. Keanu Reeves still not getting #MeToo'd

Keanu ReevesAFP/Robyn Beck

Keanu Reeves has continued to be infallible.

5. Veterans Day trending spelled wrong

veterans day

A boomer misspelled it "VeTRANS Day." Hilarious.

6. White Men arguing for more representation for White Men

angry white man

If there's one thing all white men have in common, it's constant oppression.

7. Our new writer Keith and also our other new writer Abby

CombosPhotographs: J. Kenji Lopez-Alt

Keith brings me Combos to snack on. Abby is also nice.

8. That video of Amanda Bynes confirming that she was sincere about wanting Drake to murder her pussy

Amanda BynesABC

This was important to clarify.

9. That none of us got famous for our famous moms paying for us to get into college

Olivia LoughlinCREDIT: ROB LATOUR/SHUTTERSTOCK

We're all failures, but at least we're not Olivia Jade Loughlin.

10. Attack on Titan Season 3

attack on titankodansha

Attack on Titan still has my vote for absolute best TV season of 2019.

11. The optimistic hope that the FFVII Remake will actually be amazing

final fantasy 7 remakeSquare Enix

I'M GOING TO RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD.

12. A New Half-Life game

half life alyxValve

It might be a dumb VR game, but it gives us hope that Half-Life 3 is on the horizon.

13. Fleabag Season 2

Fleabag Season 2BBC

The second season was somehow even better than the first.

14. Another year without a Toby Keith hit

No matter how bad the rest of the year was, we can all take solace in the fact that Toby Keith doesn't have any hot new songs.

15. Harry Styles

Harry StylesTHEO WARGO GETTY IMAGES

Our boy killed it on SNL.

16. A conclusive ending for the Marvel Cinematic Universe

marvel endgameDisney

Mainly though, we're just done with Marvel.

17. That I can bring "OK Boomer" with me to Thanksgiving dinner

OK BoomerShutterstock

Seriously though, shut your awful, racist boomer family down.

18. Dolly Parton's resurgence

dolly parton

Dolly Parton will always be a national treasure.

19. The Angry Woman Vs Cat meme (the cat's name is Smudge, fun fact)

woman vs cat meme

Meme of the year.

20. The Cats trailer horror

Cats TrailerUniversal Pictures

Scarier than any horror movie of the past twenty years.

21. Finding out 21 Savage is British

21 SavageROY ROCHLIN/GETTY IMAGES

Seriously?

22. That they still play 21 Jump Street and Superbad on TV

SuperbadSony Pictures

Some things never change.

23. Tekashi 69 snitching on everybody

tekashi 69GETTY IMAGES

Place your bets.

24. FKA TWIGs

FKA Twigs22nd Annual Webby Awards WireImage

Robert Pattinson done goofed.

25. That Taylor Swift wrote the song Lover all by herself, and then didn't get nominated for a Grammy

Taylor SwiftCREDIT: EVAN AGOSTINI/INVISION/AP/SHUTTERSTOCK

She has enough Grammys as is.

26. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself

jeffrey epstein

Really though. It was an inside job.

27. Ronan Farrow proposing to his husband on a page of his own book

Ronan Farrow NPR

Talk about balls.

28. Amanda Palmer's Antics

James Duncan Davidson

Love her or hate her, at least she's interesting.

29. Dan's brief stint as a beloved ARMY spokesperson

BTSJason LaVeris/FilmMagic

That time when I called out The Hollywood Reporter.

30. The Edne and Mack Feud of 2019

CBDhemp leaves on wooden background, seeds, cannabis oil extracts in jars Getty Images/iStockphoto

CBD is bullsh*t.

31. Victoria's Secret fashion show canceled officially forever

victorias secret

It's about time.

32. A$AP Rocky a point of discussion in impeachment hearings

ASAP rocky trump

We truly live in the stupidest timeline.

33. Vastly improved Sonic trailer

Sonic TrailerParamount Pictures

Conspiracy theory: They had the original design ready to go all along.

34. The incredible art in Demon Slayer

Demon SlayerShueisha

Most gorgeous anime of 2019.

Nintendo/ The Pokemon Company

With the launch of Pokemon Sword and Shield only a day away, Pokemon fans are absolutely fuming.

According to them, the long-standing Pokemon development company, Game Freak, lied to them about all sorts of things, and they've taken to Twitter to air out their grievances under #GameFreakLied. But what did Game Freak lie about specifically? Let's find out.

1. Dexit was a result of all new in-game models

GrookeyNintendo/ The Pokemon Company

In every other mainline Pokemon game, throughout the entire history of the franchise, all previous Pokemon could be obtained in the newest entry. But, in a move that fans have dubbed "Dexit" (a play on Pokedex and Brexit), Sword and Shield will be lacking over 400 different Pokemon species including favorites like Blastoise, Mewtwo, and Garchomp.

While Game Freak asserted that this was, in part, a practical decision due to the necessity of creating new, updated in-game models of every Pokemon for the Nintendo Switch, fans aren't buying it. Dataminers have synced up newer models with older models from Sun and Moon, seemingly showing that some models were, in fact, reused.

2. Playing Pokemon will make you popular

Pokemon GoNintendo/ The Pokemon Company

Game Freak has always suggested that playing Pokemon games will help you to become popular. That's why they put such an emphasis on trading and battle, to encourage social interaction, right? Maybe it's time we put this Game Freak lie to rest, too.

Talking about Pokemon games does not necessarily make you friends, and setting all my online dating profile pictures to me holding a giant Pikachu plush does not seem to be upping my game. This is just a blatant marketing tactic by Game Freak to convince lonely, socially anxious people (like myself) to buy yet another product that will increase their social clout.

3. Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide

Epstein and TrumpPORTRAIT OF AMERICAN FINANCIER JEFFREY EPSTEIN (LEFT) AND REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER DONALD TRUMP AS THEY POSE TOGETHER AT THE MAR-A-LAGO ESTATE, PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, 1997. CREDIT: DAVIDOFF STUDIOS/GETTY IMAGES

Game Freak keeps pushing the narrative that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide, but that's not what the autopsy says.

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. Regardless of what Game Freak says, don't believe for a single second that the cameras outside the guarded prison cell of a billionaire pedophile with ties to some of the richest, most powerful people in the word, who is also on suicide watch, would just randomly "malfunction" and that, during that small period of time, said pedophile would be able to hang himself. No way, Jose. Jeffrey Epstein was murdered. Jeffrey Epstein's death was an inside job. #GameFreakLied
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TW: This article contains references to sexual assault and abuse.

Let's get one thing straight: Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

According to official reports helmed by top medical examiner Dr. Barbara Sampson, Epstein hanged himself in his cell—but later medical reports suggested that his injuries resembled those of a homicide more than a suicide. When Epstein died, he had been removed from suicide watch, left alone and not checked on for hours because the two guards assigned to watch him were "sleeping," and, conveniently, the cameras outside his cell "malfunctioned." Recently, a former Navy SEAL went on Fox News and blurted out, "Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself."


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